Hoping for rain

Last weekend, for the first time since Mr. Nice ended things, I went out on the town. The past few months I've spent keeping fairly quiet: going to dinner with friends, watching movies, home repair.

No more.

Last weekend, I got all dressed up, spritzed on some Chanel, and headed out with a new girlfriend. And get this....I met an actual flesh and bones man.

It was so easy. After months of dealing with the utter nonsense of on-line dating (correction: on-line alleged dating) I had forgotten what a catch I am. I looked good. Mr. Flesh and Bones looked (and smelled -- I forgot how good they smell) good. We stayed out until after 4 a.m., exchanged some sexy kisses. He even left me a sweet message the next day.

But...there's always a but...

Mr. Flesh and Bones was going back east for two weeks for the Thanksgiving holiday. Of course, experience shows that I'll probably never hear from him again, that two weeks is like a lifetime when you've only known someone four hours. And that's all fine, but what's a girl to do to distract herself?

Easy. Meet someone else. Didn't dating in triplicate teach us anything?

The clouds started to converge Monday morning. It smelled like rain. I logged in to Match and -- miracle upon miracles -- this guy I e-mailed a couple of weeks ago had finally responded. He said he had taken a hiatus from dating and had just gotten my e-mail. After a few exchanges, we've arranged to meet for a drink this Monday. The perfect distraction.

Now I just have to find me a third....

Dating in Triplicate -- the first glitch

You go out with someone you like. You have a really good first date.

You meet up, just for drinks, and wind up practically closing the bar several hours later.

He holds your hand.

You make out by your car.

He e-mails the next day to set up the second "mystery date" (oh, I am such a sucker for the mystery date).

What's a dating in triplicate gal to do?

Immediately contact Bachelor #1, of course. We didn't spark as much as Bachelor #2 and I did, but we did have a fun evening, another good first date.

Remember that Dating in Triplicate is NOT about being a player. It's about taking your time and not putting your eggs in one basket (pardon the cliche) too soon. It's about keeping a level head and not closing your options just because you feel the stomach flip. It's about dating with both your head and your heart, it's about dating smart.

Dating in Triplicate

This is my dating philosophy for 2008. Perhaps it seems obvious, but what this means is that my goal is to always have three men in rotation at once (and if I happen to only have two or even one, I'm always looking for replacements). They don't have to all be men I'm actively dating (though that's the ideal!) but simply men who are possibilities for dating.

Dating in Triplicate isn't about becoming a player; no, that was my life in my twenties. I've come to the recent epiphany that I want a real relationship, a grown-up relationship, a stable relationship. But my problem has always been dealing with the first few weeks of dating. Either I get so frustrated with the process of dating that I wind up acting cynical (or I step out of the dating world entirely, for we all know it's much easier -- much safer -- to just return to the known, even if the known means spending Saturday night watching Dirty Dancing for the 103rd time while drinking champagne and eating chocolate in the tub) or I throw myself in so quickly because I've spotted what I think is a good thing that I wind up hurt in the end (see: "Dodged a Bullet").

No, Dating in Triplicate is about seeing dating for what it is: Not a whole lot in the early stages. It allows me to relax when I'm meeting new men, perhaps to be more of myself. Because when Dating in Triplicate, if a man rejects me, it doesn't matter; there's always another date on the horizon. When Dating in Triplicate, I hope to be more open to the signs that a man isn't right for me and less apt to cling to him, just because the alternative is being alone.

We'll see how this new philosophy works out. So far, it seems to be working well. I have two men on the plate (and a third, unknown bachelor is out there somewhere) and I've been fairly chilled out about seeing them and even more chilled out about whether or not they want to see me.