Once upon a time
I had a date.
I drank a beer.
He drank soda water.
We shook hands. We left.
(And they all lived happily ever after. Alone, of course.)
I had a date.
I was feeling pretty on-the-fence about Mr. ATM. Last week we did have a fun -- and long -- somewhat-drunken IM/phone call session, and I definitely know we were connecting, but it was feeling like too-much, too-soon. He was sending me IMs/e-mails pretty-much daily, and it was feeling overwhelming. Plus, the whole e-mail exchange with Mr. Nice has stirred up a lot of emotions in me, emotions I don't want to dump onto someone else. (Hello?! Who wants to be Mr. Rebound?)
So this weekend, I got a couple of e-mails from the man I was in a relationship with recently. We're not getting back together or anything like that -- far from it -- but the whole exchange made me realize that I'm far from ready for dating right now. I thought it best to let you know because you seem like a genuinely good guy.It didn't seem necessary to say anything beyond that. It was essentially truthful, though I had omitted anything negative I was feeling about Mr. ATM as there's no point in being unkind to a stranger who has never been unkind to me! He responds, expressing his disappointment, that he thought we both saw a green light to go forward, and he can't understand why I'm still logging in to the dating site if I'm not up for dating. He said that he's starting to feel a bit jaded about the on-line dating thing.
thank you for making it clear to me that I was right in not wanting to meet you. You're right about one thing: I didn't cancel our date JUST because I'm not quite over my last relationship. I canceled it because I got a bad feeling about someone who couldn't figure out a way to go on a date without insisting it cost him nothing. Now I see that not only are you a cheap bastard, but you're a pompous ass who can't handle rejection. How I choose to use ___ is none of your business; in fact, nothing in my life is any of your business at this point. I'd wish you good luck in your search, but I'm more inclined to wish luck to the next woman to talk to you for a few hours and believe, mistakenly, that you are worthy of her effort.
I'm forcing myself back into the dating world. It's a way to help avoid sitting around obsessing over Mr. Nice. I'm not looking for anything real, and I'm being very upfront about this with the men I'm chatting with.
We'll have to do something for free because I lost my ATM card in the machine on Friday and I have no cash.Okay, I'm not the kind of gal who expects a guy to pay on the first date. I'm happy to go dutch in fact. But this is beyond tacky. First off, what free thing is there to do on a Sunday evening with someone you've never met before? (Besides come back to my place for sex?) Secondly, can you not just call a friend and say, "Yo, buddy. I have a first date with this hot chick Sunday evening and I lost my ATM card. Can I borrow twenty bucks?" That should be enough to cover a Pabst Blue Ribbon at some dive bar and bus fare home. (Yeah, that's right. I said home. Not back to my place for sex.)
I've been e-mailing with Mr. Nice. We aren't getting back together, but it has brought some clarity to the situation. Ultimately, this is a case of him not being ready to be in a relationship. There is nothing about me or us that was problematic. He has no problems with me. He tried to make it work; he wanted to make it work. But something was pushing him to end things, something inside, something intangible, something he needs to work on away from me.