I know I've said this before
In fact, I know I've said it more than once.
Hell, I know I've been there more than once.
But I will never understand why some women simply cannot face being alone.
I have a dear friend, D, who has been traveling for the past few months. She unofficially left behind a dysfunctional relationship, so I know that the trip was a way for her to reconnect with herself. But now she keeps putting off her return.
Every couple of weeks, I get an over-the-top e-mail from her, squeeing about some perfect guy that she's met, one that's "different" than the rest, one that might be "the one." Then a couple of weeks later, she'll send an over-the-top e-mail of frustration about how the whatevership has flatlined and that she can't figure out men.
Now, as a traveling kind of gal myself, I certainly understand the romanticized world of travel, how everyone you meet is new and exciting and how because you're removed from reality, you give yourself permission to act like a naive teenager again.
I get that.
But in this case, what I really think is going on is that my friend is afraid to come home. She's afraid to face her not-officially-over relationship, afraid that without a new lover stowed away in her carry-on, she'll fall back into a relationship she can't bear to let go of if she's alone. Maybe more travel is best; maybe it will eventually lead her to herself. But I can't help but fear that ultimately it is only leading her away from her self, leading her away from confronting the complexities, the good and the bad, of her reality.