A Dater's Life

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I know I've said this before

In fact, I know I've said it more than once.

Hell, I know I've been there more than once.

But I will never understand why some women simply cannot face being alone.

I have a dear friend, D, who has been traveling for the past few months. She unofficially left behind a dysfunctional relationship, so I know that the trip was a way for her to reconnect with herself. But now she keeps putting off her return.

Every couple of weeks, I get an over-the-top e-mail from her, squeeing about some perfect guy that she's met, one that's "different" than the rest, one that might be "the one." Then a couple of weeks later, she'll send an over-the-top e-mail of frustration about how the whatevership has flatlined and that she can't figure out men.

Now, as a traveling kind of gal myself, I certainly understand the romanticized world of travel, how everyone you meet is new and exciting and how because you're removed from reality, you give yourself permission to act like a naive teenager again.

I get that.

But in this case, what I really think is going on is that my friend is afraid to come home. She's afraid to face her not-officially-over relationship, afraid that without a new lover stowed away in her carry-on, she'll fall back into a relationship she can't bear to let go of if she's alone. Maybe more travel is best; maybe it will eventually lead her to herself. But I can't help but fear that ultimately it is only leading her away from her self, leading her away from confronting the complexities, the good and the bad, of her reality.



At 4:10 AM, Blogger AlphaChick said...

It is a phenomenon we all know too well. I have friends who have managed to get past that, and understand their own reality. Others sadly get caught at the halfway mark ... they get out of the dysfunctional relationship, but continue to mourn it and the fact they are alone. Trying to get someone like to realise the beauty of their own life is an ongoing project.

At 10:14 AM, Blogger TessaJ said...

Yes, it's an ongoing project, a process of sorts. And I have to remember that, to be patient with my friend. Still, it's sad to see...


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