Signs of a good first date (???)

The number one search term that brings people to this blog is, "What are the signs of a good first date?"

In my eyes, the answer to that has always been obvious: you both show up; you have good, easy conversation; you laugh; you seem to have some stuff in common; nobody's rude to the waitperson or to each other; nobody's staring at their watch every five seconds; nobody picks up the cute guy (or girl) sitting alone at the bar; there's usually talk of a second date.

Blah, blah, blah. That is what a good first date looks like.

I had my first date with the non-drinking, Buddhist vegetarian last night. We went for tea. We talked. We laughed. When I had to leave to meet a girlfriend for a movie, he immediately asked me out for dinner.

Apparently, I was on a good first date.

But the thing is, I know what a good first date looks like, but what does it feel like? Truth be told, for all that the conversation was easy and could have gone on for quite some time, I felt nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I suppose it's worth another shot. NDBV is a nice man, relatively attractive, interesting, educated, funny. And I hear from friends that this thing called chemistry doesn't always appear in an instant, that sometimes it doesn't show up until days or weeks or even months into a whatevership.

But thinking back to my first date with Mr. Nice, in fact, thinking back to everything that led up to my first date with Mr. Nice, this was about as exciting as standing in line to buy stamps at the post office. Maybe I'm still nostalgic for Mr. Nice, still wishing that things could have turned out differently. But I can't help but think that the bar has been raised.

And I can't help but worry that this bar is entirely out of reach at the moment.