A Dater's Life

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Ready for the next step (?)

How do you know when you're ready to advance the relationship? There's one side that thinks that these things just "happen" naturally. Then again, there's another side that says it's best to make a conscious decision to be together.

It's been three weeks since Mr. Nice and I had our first big relationship talk. At the time, we agreed that taking things one date at a time was for the best.

But now, three weeks later, I feel like I'm moving to a place where one date at a time might not be enough. It's not that I'm unhappy with him or even want or need to see him more often (we're both fairly busy to begin with and he's been traveling for work so frequently that I'm not even sure that's possible). But it's more that I'm starting to feel like "one date at a time" is getting a bit redundant. It's more that I'm starting to feel that he and I are getting more emotionally and intellectually involved without making things "official."

I wonder how far we can progress without doing so.

But I've never dated anyone like this before. He's such a different man than the men in my past, and we're approaching this so differently. In the past, I rushed in without even thinking about my needs or desires or even about whether or not I really liked the guy. It just happened. And in every single case, the guy -- and the relationship -- quickly turned into a disaster.

This way, for all its stresses, feels so much better. At least it feels better for this relationship.

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