Are we all just crazy?

I've been dating Mr. Nice for about two months now. When we're together, things are effortless. We are both so into each other, it stuns me.

But that doesn't mean all of the baggage from relationships past is gone. All of that is still there, all of that still needs to be worked on. I find myself, in the days between our dates, totally and utterly freaking out about, well, about nothing. In my brain -- and I know where this comes from; it comes from the men in the past who did this -- I conjure up this twisted fantasy where Mr. Nice will all-of-a-sudden reveal his true colors, that he'll lose interest in me over, well, over nothing.

What's helped is to talk to others, to talk to people who are in solid, committed relationships. And do you know what I'm learning? That every single person I know was infected by the crazy in the early stages of their relationships (and the crazy even pops back into the picture from time-to-time years into the relationship). I suppose it's a natural thing to go through when one is making oneself vulnerable and exposed in front of another person. Trust -- and intimacy -- takes time to build, but it's easy to let the crazy take over entirely, to let it consume us and destroy our perspective. The Crazy is simply our attempt at protecting ourselves; but in the end, if left unchecked, it leads only to one thing: sabotage.

But in the end, when I'm left alone in my protective shell, I have to ponder, "What am I missing out on?"

The other day, when I was spinning my wheels over, well, over nothing, a wise friend said to me, "OK, this is when your dear friend sits you down (virtually) and tells you to CHILL...THINGS ARE FINE! Stop looking for them not to be!"

Wise words, indeed.