It's official

I have been stood up. Yes, I realize I didn't try and contact Bachelor #1 (I've reset my dating counter to zero) either, but call me old fashioned, I like a man to show me that he's into me.

Clearly this one isn't.

Men, here's a list of acceptable ways to cancel a date with a woman. Phone, texting, or e-mail are all acceptable means to an end. Note: Telling the truth is not essential here.

1. I've met someone else (or is that too obvious?);
2. I'm entering the witness protection program;
3. I've just joined Doctors Without Borders and will be moving to Cambodia for six months;
4. I've been traded to the Yankees (if you happen to be in New York, say, "I've been traded to the Dodgers);
5. I'm gay;
6. I'm joining a monastery;
7. I'm joining a monastery because I think I'm gay.